by Molly Beane | September 28, 2019 | San Diego, CA

I.

I am pocked with lesions.

Plagued for more than thirty years.

I spent most of my life trying to ignore them.

To hide them so no one could see.

To bury them deep in the chambers of my…

San Diego, CA | September 21, 2019 | by Molly Beane

my arms aren’t long enough to reach you

which, of course, makes me want you more

I dream of nighttime in the day

It’s the only time you’re within reach

at 10:00 p.m., I morph into a

carnivorous werewolf stalking my prey

by 7:00 a.m., I am drunk on your flesh

and counting the hours until the sun falls again

San Diego, CA | September 20, 2019 | by Molly Beane

TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ASSAULT, ETC

I am the governess of this body. Not you.

Outwardly, you concur

while inwardly assuming I can be used as your plaything.

Don’t think I can’t see it. I read you like a book.

San Diego, CA | September 18, 2019 | by Molly Beane

I have always held this uncertainty with equanimity.

An unspoken promise.

This gentle burning tucked behind every secret in my heart.

I tamed it to a flicker but it defied my every attempt to extinguish it.

Of course

There…

Austin, TX | Friday, September 13, 2019 | by Molly Beane

I contain multitudes

And so do you

Help me name them

Tell me what I need to know

Because we’ve been here before

I just couldn’t remember

Lay your cards down

Who are you? Who am I to you?

San Diego, CA | July 28, 2019 | by Molly Beane

the sun rises in the east

peeking behind jagged mountainside

shedding her cloak of indigo disco glitter

this time of day is my favorite

maybe because the skin becomes a painting

fine art -

with hues of gold, bronze, crimson, and cornflower

maybe because of the first warmth on my face

maybe because the veil is thin

i watch her rise

triumphant. ripe with possibility.

i watch her rise

she shows us the way.

she shares her light

i learn from her because

i watch her rise

i watch her rise

i watch her rise

San Diego, CA | September 15, 2019 | by Molly Beane

You think

I use being sick as an excuse.

Do you know what it feels like to have your skull crushed?

You’re tired

Of sitting in hospitals.

I’m tired

Of sitting with you.

(Friday) September 13, 2019 | Austin, TX | by Molly Beane

Dedicated to ALS and John H. Kuhr (b. July 5, 1946)

It starts slowly

Barely discernible at first

A subtle ripple

Like most erosions

We don’t notice until it’s too late

A grasp for air

A gentle wilt

Deafening silence

Four white walls

No key

More wilting

Years pass

Bound

In a straight jacket

Whimper.

Moan.

Scream.

Help.

But none of it counts

Because the walls are soundproof

Despair.

Then rage.

Then the slow boil.

But over time

It begins to feel almost normal

To sit in one’s soil

Resigned.

No longer human

No feeling

Just rot

I yearn for the darkness

Atrophy becomes unbearable

Misery.

Alone in my cage

I can’t get out

Please turn out the lights.

San Diego, CA | September 15, 2019 | by Molly Beane

It’s been incubating

Conceived in long-ago rooms

Subterranean

Slithering around the mines with exquisite sensitivity

A gentle beingness dancing in the background

Felt but concealed

Patiently awaiting the stardust that helps us

Find our way

There is such a…

Molly Beane

Founder/CEO, From Molly With Love — a feminist clean skincare company.

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